• WTF = What the fuck. Alternatively, World Taekwondo Federation.
• FTW = For the win. Google suggests Fort Worth Meacham International Airport.
• FWT = A sucking noise made with the mouth. Also, Flimsy West-African Textiles.
• WFT = Whale Fighting Tactics. An international martial art created in AD 2101 to eradicate all whales, who turn out to be the masterminds of the illegal seizure of all your base.
• TFW = Triboluminescent Fragmentation of Wint-O-Green-Life-Savers. Shorthand for well-known effect that chomping on Wint-O-Green Life Savers in the dark makes sparks.
• TWF = Tricky War-time Fortifications. Famously used in World War I in the form of bunkers.

You’d think that vendors would realize that, since the world is about to end, they should probably be more interested in helping the hero save it than earn money and let the world be destroyed? I know people are greedy, but I don’t have any personal experience with how people act when faced with demon hordes.

This is a bit of a contrast with Half-Life 2, which I’ve recently been playing; there, the resistance forces do everything they possibly can to help you, knowing that you’re the only hope for the human race.

Actually, maybe that’s it–it’s set on Earth, unlike most RPGs. I suppose Earth’s denizens are more rational than those of alternate worlds?

If you have not yet registered to vote in the election, you probably don’t have too long to do that. Seriously–vote. It’s important that we have a good leader the next four years. Don’t screw this up. (I mean, vote for whoever you want, but…seriously.)

If you are interested in the election from a strategic perspective, read FiveThirtyEight.com. It has a very in-depth mathematical analysis of all the poll results from this campaign, compiled by an accomplished sabermetrician. FiveThirtyEight analyzes the campaigns in terms of electoral math, unlike everywhere else, so it has great commentary about how the campaigns should actually win the election (i.e., get 270 electoral votes), not just get more of the popular vote.

My classes are going well, though they keep me pretty busy with four problem sets and a lab every week. I’m enjoying analysis more than algebra, which is a bit of a surprise. Mechanics is alright, though honestly it isn’t my cup of tea as far as physics goes. Computer science is, as expected, a bit underwhelming because it’s an intro course, but I have hopes for more advanced CS courses.

And…I’ll write more soon, I promise. Hopefully.

But I’m ready–I just finished organizing my desk. Thanks to some conversations with (a very bored) Nick, even my music library is organized by genre. (22 of them, no less!)

I especially like the embedded Google Calendar, which serves as a single updatable source for our entire year’s schedule. It can be easily synchronized very easily to iCal, Google Calendar, or Mozilla Sunbird, and comes with a much better web interface than I could ever design myself.

So I’ll admit that the above image is completely nonsensical, but it’s funnier if you recognize the context. The context, naturally, is something that could only be gleaned by spending plenty of time on the Internet.

Several years ago, somebody made a parody rap called “Bitches don’t know ’bout my dick.” In response, somebody posted this image on the Internet:

Ever since then, this picture has been endlessly Photoshopped, changing the face and words. Most notable of these parodies is the “BITCHES DONT KNOW BOUT MY DIABEETUS” picture featuring Wilford Brimley, long-time ex-actor (and guy who looks a bit like a walrus) on those Liberty Medical Supplies ads that run on random television stations occasionally. (Note also that “diabeetus” is a separate meme.)

Regarding the pylons–a famed real-time strategy computer game called StarCraft has a race called the Protoss whose buildings require energy pylons in the vicinity as power sources. Thus the “BITCHES DONT KNOW BOUT MY ADDITIONAL PYLONS” and Protoss head image which can continue to confuse everybody. If you want to really confuse somebody, go find a YouTube video about “…ADDITIONAL PYLONS” and show somebody unaware of memes and StarCraft. Hilarity ensues.

• One person reached my blog from the Google results for “how to court a christian girl.” I have verified that, in fact, I am at the moment the first of two Google results for “how to court a christian girl” (with quotes), thanks to my old post about how stupid WikiHow is.
• Except for the aforementioned man searching for a Christian girl, most people getting to my website from Google are searching for acfdb. One person searched for “matt weiner acf.” I hope they were not disappointed that my website lacks Matt Weiner.
• In fact, 67% of my traffic last month was directed at acfdb, which is a good sign, seeing as I hoped acfdb would actually be used.
• 17% of the traffic is to my blog. The remaining traffic is fairly evenly split between the other sections of my website.
• Slightly more than half of the visitors use Windows. Very few use Linux.
• My most popular non-recent blog entry (by far) is the math stand-up one.

In conclusion, my website has quizbowl resources, Christian advice, and math stand-up.

But the announcement a month ago of Diablo III has reminded me how many good games are in the works right now. Let’s see:

Blizzard alone has two very highly anticipated (as in, anticipated for the last decade) games on the way: Diablo III and Starcraft II. Of course, they’ll be coming out on a Blizzard-like schedule, which means in two years, but you can’t blame ‘em–all their games remain heavily played over a decade after their releases. They have to get it right, y’know?

Rock Band 2 and Guitar Hero: World Tour are coming out in a few months, and will surely be an improvement on the already-awesome Rock Band. Personally, I find Activision has been a negative influence on the Guitar Hero franchise. (Their ideas get worse and worse–guitar battles? DS game? Aerosmith-centered game!?) But regardless, I’m sure GH:WT will be a pretty cool game. And both games have great setlists!

There has been lots of good news besides game announcements: Final Fantasy XIII will not be a PS3 exclusive, Xbox Live might switch to free multiplayer gaming, console storage is going up (including Nintendo, who realized that a console should probably have more than 512 MB of storage).

More Portal levels are coming soon, and an entire sequel is in development. Bungie is working on a new Halo-related game (not my thing). And of course, Spore is on its way, and will be the last thing you’ll ever desire. (Sorry for the Battlecruiser 3000 reference, but Spore really isn’t my thing. I’ve never enjoyed a god game. But doesn’t Spore’s gameplay sound just a little bit like Battlecruiser 3000?)

Good times. But for the next few months, I can keep on truckin’ through Sanctuary with Bezos the Amazon, who is currently on Act 3 of Nightmare difficulty. Beware her level 20 Charged Strike. (Except for the lightning immune monsters which are really annoying me.)

In case you are wondering who “Carlo’s Bitch” is, that’s Nick, who managed to net -5 points for his team over the whole day. I mean, I know I only got 95 points, but that’s a lot higher than -5.

One of the best parts of CO, however, was having another van ride with the New Trier team, known for our amazing van conversations on the way to tournaments. For instance:

Jonah: “I’ve been working since legally allowed.”
Carlo: “Yeah, but you can’t be in porn until you’re 18.”
Nick: “When can you start child porn? Oh wait…”

Several other conversations were even less appropriate.

Anyhow, I’ve learned that I need to learn a lot more organic chem and molecular biology to really have a chance at more science questions. Time to crack open that organic chem book again!

Oh right, and write questions. I should do that.

I will be playing on a team dubbed “Sophomoronic” with three other soon-to-be-sophomores, including one long-time rival and occasional teammate, Greg Peterson. The great prognosticators that be (i.e. Matt Weiner) have pegged us at 10th out of 17, which would be pretty cool if it actually happened. Unfortunately I’m extraordinarily out of practice, but I plan to read lots of music and science questions tonight, so maybe I’ll get back in the swing of things a bit.

More Chicago Open news to come later.