The “Featured” category will hereforth contain my more extensive and worthwhile musings.
“I thought you only listened to classical music,” Nick confessed only a few months ago. The comment got me to thinking about what “classical” music even was. And more importantly, the difference between classical and other genres.
In brief, I think the difference is mainly in the instrumentation and emphasis on lyrics. In the middle half of the twentieth century, classical music runs into a dead-end, as no new paradigms have been introduced. One can ignore tonality, but it always keeps creeping back. Patterns can be found, after all, in anything. One could also destroy tonality, destroy structure. But this fragmentary manner is only interesting for a very little time. Likewise with John Cage. 4′33″ might be an interesting concept, but seriously now–who actually listens to Imaginary Landscape No. 4? Playing twelve radios at once is avant garde. But only the first time.
But I think popular music still gets many of its cues from those moments right before avant garde turned academic. If centuries of development has gone into what sounds pleasing, there’s probably something to it. Rock uses the same scale, the same notes, the same chords. It just takes the foundation in a different direction. If Glass and Dufay are in the same genre, why aren’t Glass and Coldplay?
Take “Clocks,” for example. 2004’s Record of the Year at the Grammys. Everyone likes it, everyone thinks only musical geniuses can write something like it. Now, I’m not saying they’re derivative, but it’s practically classical.
Good ol’ E flat major. The repeated falling arpeggios are simple but immediately draw interest. (Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, anyone?) They continue throughout, never changing. The interest isn’t the melody. It’s the mesmerizing repetition of the painfully simple motif. (Isn’t that practically the definition of minimalism in classical music? See–I told you it was like Philip Glass.)
The backdrop to the entire piece (so it’s like a passacaglia?) is E flat, D flat, C. E flat, D flat, C. Three notes, falling, almost mimicking the falling arpeggios that form them: E flat major, first inversion. B flat minor, second inversion. F minor, root position. The major/minor shift adds more color. (Isn’t this straight from music theory?) And then there’s the switch between triple and duple meter. 3+3+2=8, after all, and eight is a measure. (I always did like complex meters with hemiola.) And heck, they use a piano.
Fine, you say. But what about other less melodic genres? Well, even Schoenberg had people half-speaking on stage. Screaming into microphones without any pitch isn’t anything new–just ask anyone who has ever heard the seventh inning stretch. Maybe the term “sprechstimme” doesn’t quite apply. Perhaps “gellstimme” would be more appropriate. But it has been done.
ID3v1.1 defines over a hundred “genre” tags for MP3s. From A capella to Vocal, they have everything. I’m not sure what the difference is between Acid, Acid Jazz, and Acid Punk is, nor why Alternative Rock and Alternative aren’t the same thing. (They have “Porn Groove”? Are you kidding me?) I’ve never even heard of Negerpunk. And what’s a Power Ballad? Actually, I’m not sure I want to know. It’s probably horrifying.
These genres are totally ridiculous. Classical, on the other hand, doesn’t get Classical (Medieval), Classical (Renaissance), Classical, Classical (Romantic), Classical (Avant Garde) and the twenty other tags that would be necessary to classify it. I don’t know about you all, but Dufay’s harmonies sound like they come from Mars. But Beethoven? Now That’s What I Call a Cadence.
Mars isn’t just my favorite sketch from Holst’s Planets, it’s also my preferred disc of Stadium Arcadium. Coldplay’s Clocks is good, but so is Haydn’s Clock Symphony.
So let us listen to good music. Let us listen to “classical” music, if we like it. Classical music used to be the only music.
But above all, let us not combine genres that should not be mixed. Just as cesium should not touch water, may no orchestra ever perform Porn Groove on the G String.
–Carlo Angiuli